Some of you may have read this post where I filled you all in on my recent career news. Your kind words and well-wishes were seriously appreciated. I am chuffed to be working from home now. I know how lucky I am to have this opportunity and I am determined to make it work. This is my current office space and I have to say it really has "something" for me. I go in, shut the door, and get in to "work mode". It works for me and it's going well.
Recently I have realized something though. It really is impossible to get it right all of the time. I find that if I am having a super productive work week then my house might be falling down around me. Or so it feels. I seem to never stop washing dishes, hoovering, washing floors and working my way through a massive pile of clothes washing. That's OK though. I am human and a working mother of a toddler. Toddlers and tidy houses generally don't suit eachother very well anyway. I do my best and prioritize. Sometimes I try to multi-task and something a little bit like this happens. I hoovered the bedroom floor while Billy "played" with my red matte lipstick. MATTE. His hand-eye co-ordination could do with some work, I know.
Then there are the days I say "feck it". I do the bare minimum and we take off on adventures together. Lovely days out to parks, food markets and to feed the ducks. These are the moments that are good for the soul.
Coming home to a messy house? Not so much. It fairly bursts your bubble to be honest. It doesn't take from how lovely the day out was but for me personally, I just need a certain amount of "stuff" to be done when I get home. Otherwise I spend the evening sulking about it and exhausted. That's the thing about parenting. You can feel fine all day and about an hour before your child's bedtime it hits you like a tonne of bricks. The exhaustion.
Then there is the baby-free time. The let-your-hair-down and wear liquid eyeliner times. They don't come often and they don't have to. Every now and then is fine for me. But they feel good. I really enjoy them. A glass of wine, some nice food and the company most importantly. I recently had a lovely girly night out with my Mam and Sister for my mam's birthday. We went to my favourite restaurant Toscana in Dublin, drank cocktails and laughed until we cried. These nights are amazing.
I need a certain amount of "home time" too. As a person who suffers with anxiety I just need to be home a good chunk of the time. Getting work done, cooking from home, enjoying the little space we work so hard to pay for. You know? I really enjoy just being home as a family. Many of you who follow my Snapchat might be surprised about that in a sense as we are always out and about. I am a real home-bird though, and always was. A glass of wine, home-cooked meal and just recharging the batteries is so good for you. Or for me anyway.
In the end it's about trying to find a sense of balance isn't it? I have discovered that something always suffers and in a sense you kind of have to accept that don't you? I'd love nothing more than to sit on the floor doing puzzles 90% of the day. Really I would. But I'd need someone to clean the house, cook the meals and slap on a bit of make-up for me. All of these things contribute to me feeling somewhat together.
The mammy game is a wonderfully complex one. It can often feel like a juggling act. All we can do is our best though right? And when all else fails... listen to your heart and make a list. I love me a list.